Confessions of a reforming perfectionist

Black, white; all, nothing; elation, depression; 100%, 0% – that is me when I’m not doing what I need to do to stay sane.

 

Throughout my life I was digital – 1 or 0, on or off, no analog dial of the grey gradual or via media. High or low, no middle. Perish the average.

 

If I couldn’t master something I’d quit it, claiming boredom or irrelevance. Really I was scared out of my shoes to work. In school I didn’t have to work until my doctoral course work. Didn’t fail a test until my German language proficiency exam – I still loathe German with a passion. (My father’s fault for correcting me as a child in German – that’s my story and I’m sticking to it).

What really brought my insane digital thinking to the forefront was my housework. If the house didn’t sparkle; it stank. Excuses made, piles buried in back closets, feet stuck to the kitchen floor. Or everything gone and if it wasn’t nailed down it was dusted, washed and scrubbed until it glowed. Then a friend suggested, very nicely I thought, that I check out Flylady www.flylady.net. There I learned how to break chores down. Change my attitude. Do house work for me to smile not to impress or please anyone else. Do I always do the Flylady emails? No. But is my house a sty? Never. Does I hug me when I come home? Usually. I found grey in my life – who knew? It’s a dust rag!

 

Stephanie Jarkins

www.gothmomz.com

twitter: skjarkins

 

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 “LEST WE FORGET”

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Written by: Major John McCrae May 3, 1915

The poppy’s significance to Remembrance Day is a result of Canadian military physician John McCrae’s poem In Flanders Fields. The poppy emblem was chosen because of the poppies that bloomed across some of the worst battlefields of Flanders in World War I, their red colour an appropriate symbol for the bloodshed of trench warfare.

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 Mom’s Night Out

Sorry men, this is a sexist piece. Please read another blog post whilst the women continue reading, if you so desire.

Laud to girls’ night out. What would I do without my girl friends? Be far bitchier to my family, that’s a given. Societies in which the women are permitted to gather together regularly have it right. Birthing, child rearing, harvesting, deaths and everything in between, go far better when many women of different ages gather together. I have been blessed to have some amazing women in my life. We don’t get to see each other as often as we would like but when we do it is like I’ve been holding my breath for all that time. Exhale. Relax. Breathe. Laugh.

My Goth posse is comprised of four other amazing women. They are wonderful mothers, wives, and all very much themselves. We are not clones of each other nor do we want to be. We are strong personalities but we complement each other. When trauma hits we drop everything to help. When life becomes unbearable we are willing to talk at any hour for as long as needed until things feel a little brighter. Do we have miscommunication issues? Sometimes. But a forgiving and open heart cures all ills.

All to soon our lives will get even busier and we won’t be able to see each other as much. That’s why I send my thanks out to Amy, DeAnna, Nikki, and Kellie. Thanks for always being there for me no matter what. You ladies are truly the best.

If you have a crew of close girlfriends and haven’t seen them for a while – fix it. You’ll be glad you did.

 

Stephanie Jarkins

www.gothmomz.com

twitter: skjarkins

 

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 Twitter 101 – Part C (Last one – I promise)

What does RT, MT, via, #whatever mean? As with any new enterprise there is jargon.

RT = Retweet. This is used when someone has written a tweet that you consider is great and want to share it with your followers. This is the basic premise of Twitter. The RT is a direct quotation. Some folks don’t like it when one messes with it to make it stay under 140 characters. If you do have to edit – use VIA then @ and the person’s twitter name. Edit at will, but do keep the same intent, that’s only fair.

 

MT = for some means mention, for others it means other stuff. I haven’t found a good shortform for it. There is a lot of confusion between text speak and twitter speak. So I write it out and just thank fewer people each time.

 

Via = see above under RT

 

Now for the great and powerful #. You luddites out there thought it meant pound, or number. Oh…how nineteenth century of you. It is the great and wonderful hashtag. This is the means by which folks can do quick searches that pull all the tweets on that topic. You need to use the # on your blogs too for searches. You can go on hashtags.org they tell you what many of them mean. I don’t suggest creating your own until you’ve been tweeting for a while.

 

Some of the hashtags I use and follow are: #amwriting, #ambeading, #tweetlikeapro, #whyIwrite, #justread, #follow.

 

When thanking someone for following, mentioning or RT I use #TY and #shoutout.

 

There are also special things for different days of the week. The three I use the most are #mentionmonday where I highlight special folks, #writerwednesday or #WW where I thank and say to #follow great authors, and #followfriday. For this I use www.followfriday.com to click on names and have tweets sent out with #follownow or whatever hashtag I want and highlight the folks I’ve tweeted with the most.

 

This is why watching what is happening on Twitter is so key. Look up the terms you don’t understand. Take your time to be polite and follow the etiquette. It is a great interaction chance. I’ve found some wonderful folks. Come on in. It is a time suck, but usually a polite one.

If you want more etiquette etc information check this blog out. It’s great.

Stephanie Jarkins

www.gothmomz.com

twitter: skjarkins

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